one time my mum sat me down and i thought she was going to give me the sex talk but she just looked me dead in the eye and said ‘Kali, if you’re going to stab someone, stab them, and then punch where you stabbed. They won’t feel the knife wound and just think you hit them.’ And my mum is still the most metal person in my life today.
I like ur mom
thanks i’ll tell her
i was going to make a list of people that annoy me, but it was too long so I decided to post a pic instead.
omg i’m in the same photo as tom hiddleston
ugh, my hair looks terrible
can we do it again i blinked
come on i was sneezing it’s not fair look at my face ugh
If I was a famous actor and had a horde of fangirls, I would stay single, and every time an interviewer asked me about my love life, I’d answer that “there’s this one girl I saw at a meeting with fans. I don’t know her name, because of all the fuss with the autographs, and I have only seen her once, but I’m in love with her.” I’d say that, looking all sad and lonely.
Imagine all the fangirls’ faces.
just calm down a second there, satan